I’m Ashira Jones, founder of Perfect Ten Development & Coaching. I help single women of color over 30 like you to feel like a worthy Wonder Woman – even while you wait.
Back when I finished college, like many young women, I had a pretty specific idea of the milestones I wanted to achieve. Grad school, career, marriage, kid, house, dog… the happily ever after!
When I think about my 22-year-old self, I realized that most of my milestones were based on outdated societal expectations. I thought I was on the path to living my best life. But it didn’t take long to realize that the unrealistic path I was on had essentially been prescribed to me – and it just didn’t fit who I really was.
As time passed, that idea of happily ever after seemed further away. I landed job after job that didn’t materialize into the “dream job”. I didn’t get married or have kids. I was constantly (and mostly poorly) managing my anxiety and depression. Time after time and disappointment after disappointment, I realized the endless barriers in the way of achieving society’s so-called perfect life. What I didn’t realize at the time is that one of those barriers was me! As I saw others in my social circle begin ticking off milestones I also thought I’d have for myself, I felt alone, isolated, and not sure who to turn to.
After coaching other single women of color, I now know that I wasn’t the only one to feel this way.
One day, I realized that I’d been waiting around for those milestone moments – and I’d fallen out of love with my own life. I was still single, but I wasn’t enjoying the freedom it gave me. I was the only one who could actively create my new reality, and take responsibility for my career, my happiness, and my sense of self-worth. Nobody was coming to save me.